


ひさしぶり (Hisashiburi)

by failufail



Series: ひさしぶり (Hisashiburi) [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Gen, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/failufail/pseuds/failufail
Summary: It's been a while.





	ひさしぶり (Hisashiburi)

**Author's Note:**

> Written in June of 2013. This is probably my favorite fic that I ever wrote.

“You are a fucking idiot, Akanishi.”

Kame was angry. He was currently stuck on the rooftop of the jimusho with the last person he wanted to be stuck with, and to top it all off, it was a ridiculously hot day. 

Today was _not_ the day for the air conditioning to go out in the building.

To say that it was hot outside was an understatement. It was summer, and all weather reports were saying that the temperature would reach a record high today. Not to mention, the humidity seemed to be staggeringly high as well. It was like a thick, dense blanket that covered the city, drenching the masses in an invisible, suffocating dampness. It was an absolutely horrid feeling.

At first, no one really noticed that the air conditioning went out. Everyone in the building went along as usual. It was the top floor of offices that noticed the drastic change in temperature within the hour, the office employees unconsciously fanning themselves with their paperwork. It slowly moved down and through the building, the heat gradually wiping out all traces of cool air. About two hours later, someone finally spoke up on the top floors and they figured out the problem.

Not long after, Johnny made the call to let everyone go home for their obvious well-being. He would not be pleased to have anyone, especially the groups and/or juniors currently practicing in the dance studios on the first floor, sent to the hospital due to heatstroke.

Kame had decided to head to the rooftop after a meeting with the old man to smoke a cigarette. They’d gone over his currently packed-to-the-brim schedule, and what he could do to promote himself more. Apparently, Johnny wasn’t happy with how Kame had managed to stay pretty low-profile in the last few months, even with his new movie, new single with KAT-TUN, and the whispers of a live tour (which were only rumors as of yet) in the background. He wanted Kame to land himself in the tabloids for something, which meant he had to think of something quick to get him there. 

Needless to say, that’s why he had ended up on the rooftop afterwards, smoking a cigarette and sipping on an iced coffee. Thinking. What could he do to rile up the paparazzi? Of course, he could probably call in a favor to one of his famous acquaintances, who wouldn’t mind being caught doing something gossip-worthy, but he decided against pulling another person into what could turn into rumors and whatnot for the next few weeks… or even months, if they did something juicy enough.

He sighed, letting out a long puff of smoke.

He wasn’t even there two minutes when he noticed Jin walking through the door. They gave each other nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement and stood on opposite sides of the roof, smoking.

Naturally, Kame wondered why Jin was here. As far as he knew, Jin was still technically on suspension. And to be honest, he knew that Jin would have rather been at home with his baby girl, rather than here—the place which he so lovingly dubbed “Hell on Earth” in the last few years Kame had known him. Then again, Kame didn’t feel like he knew him now. That invisible wall that had been built between them kept getting taller and thicker with each passing day, until they were virtually strangers.

Kame had finished his cigarette first, and flicked it aside, ready to get home and get out of the staggering heat. The light at the end of the tunnel was getting to go home to an unexpected day off. That is, until his manager decided that the open time he had in his schedule could be better used for interviews or whatnot. Regardless, the very idea of slipping off his clothes and crawling into a bed of cool sheets with a book was a very enticing thought.

Unfortunately, when he got to the door, he noticed the wedge that normally held the door ajar was very much _not there_. Kame was pretty damn sure it was there when he made his way up to the roof, and Jin was the only one to trail him up here. He immediately called Jin on it, and voiced his very annoyed and aggravated opinion.

Jin turned around and scowled at Kame, wondering what warranted Kame’s very sudden, and very rude outburst. “So that’s what you really think of me, huh?” He chuckled and flicked his cigarette away.

Kame started to say something, but bit his tongue. He wasn’t about to go that route… at least, not yet. Right now, they had a problem on their hands.

“I’m talking about the _door_.” Kame let out an exasperated sigh. “You _do_ remember that the door locks behind you up here, don’t you?”

Jin gave him a blank expression. It was obvious that he _didn’t_ remember, and the realization of their current situation had hit him at once.

“Fuck,” Jin muttered under his breath.

“Great, we’re locked up here,” Kame told Jin, putting their current situation into words. “Thank god I have my…” He patted down the pockets of his shorts.

_Shit._

“Missing something?” Jin asked, a smug smile creeping up to his lips.

“Shit. I left my phone in my bag. It’s in the dressing room on the first floor. Do you have yours?”

Jin started patting down his own pockets in search for his own phone. “Yeah I…” He frowned, the smug smile instantly disappearing. “I left it in my car to charge,” he said helplessly.

Great. Absolutely wonder-freaking-ful. 

No one had anything to say at that point. It was too hot—too hot to argue, too hot to yell, too hot to do much of anything. Sure, Kame was really aggravated right now, but he figured he’d save his breath. Maybe they’d be lucky, and someone had stayed behind and would happen to make their way to the rooftop and get let them back in… but probably not. When he was last inside, most of the building was already empty, happy that they didn’t have to work. He slumped with his back against the door and slid down to sit on the ground. At least there was a bit of shade next to the door, and at least he had his iced coffee for now.

“I’m… sorry?” Jin offered, taking a step closer.

Kame just grunted.

Jin sighed, finally making his way over to the other, and taking a seat next to him—not too far, but not too close, either. “At least you’re not being a bitch about it.”

Kame glanced at Jin and frowned. He was determined to keep his cool, so he didn’t say anything. Even in this heat, he swore he wouldn’t lose it and snap at Jin.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been up here,” Jin continued. “Do you remember when we were Juniors and we’d sneak up here with the cigarettes we stole from our senpai?”

Kame chuckled at the memory, but still stayed quiet.

Jin looked at Kame and observed him for a moment. Then he snorted and said, “I think I was wrong. You _are_ being a bitch.”

At this point, Kame wanted to punch Jin in the face. Instead, he threw a heated glare at him. “Well _excuse me_ for not being in the mood to reminisce. It’s extremely hot and humid, I’m starting to sweat, and we’re stuck up here until someone happens to come by and let us back in. Oh, and not to mention all we’ve got to keep us the least bit hydrated is _this_.” He held up his large cup of iced coffee and shook it in Jin’s face. “So yeah, I’ll be a bitch for however long we’re stuck up here.”

That managed to shut Jin up. At least for the moment. Out of the corner of Kame’s eye, he saw Jin look off into the distance. He rested his hands on his knees, and didn’t say anything. He didn’t look annoyed at Kame’s attitude, but maybe then again, he understood. The heat could make anyone crazy, and honestly, Kame was sure Jin felt the same way as he did about being stuck somewhere with the last person he wanted to be stuck with.

A minute passed. Two minutes. Three.

“I’m sorry.” It was barely audible, practically muttered.

“Stop apologizing,” Kame said, his irritable mood calming a little. “It was an accident.”

“No, not that. I mean, I _am_ sorry for getting us locked up here, but that’s not what I was apologizing for,” Jin said in a more audible speaking voice. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Kame had no idea what to say to that. There was no explanation warranted for his apology. He turned his head to look at Jin, who was still looking out into the distance. For a moment, Kame thought about the apology, but the more he thought about it the more angry it got him. There was so much— _too much_ —that happened (and didn’t happen) between them, that a simple “I’m sorry” couldn’t fix.

“’I’m sorry’ doesn’t fix everything, Akanishi,” Kame told him in a flat voice.

“I know,” he replied, his head turning slowly toward Kame. There was a softness in Jin’s eyes. “But it’s a start, right?”

“Whatever,” Kame muttered, and let out a bitter chuckle. He looked away and started fiddling with the straw of his drink.

Jin turned his head away with a frown. “I don’t know why I’m even trying.”

Then the silence between them returned. The invisible wall between them seemed taller and wider than ever before. Maybe the wall was too big to bring down. Maybe their relationship was just too irreparable at this point. They had their moment years ago, and it slipped away. To be honest, it made Kame sad; sad that their relationship had ended the way that it did, and that there was no real explanation for it. He wondered why it had slipped away, and why neither one of them tried to hold on to it. Sometimes it bothered him, but only when he took the time to actually think about it.

And he had plenty of time to think about it right now, especially with Jin in his direct vicinity.

After a while, Kame finally broke the stifling silence. “I don’t hate you.”

Jin turned his head to Kame. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Kame sighed, trying not to let his feelings get to him. “I’m just trying to say… I don’t hate you. I don’t think I ever did or I ever could. I think I’m just angry at the way things happened.”

“What _did_ happen to us, Kamenashi?”

It was the first time in a long time that Jin actually referred to him that way. It stung a little; that their familiarity had faded away just as their relationship did. He wondered if Jin felt the same when he referred to him in the same way. It really did feel like they were strangers now.

But Kame didn’t know how to answer Jin’s question. There really wasn’t an answer. Jin left a second time, and they grew apart. While he was off _not_ being in Japan, they had lost touch. Between both of their schedules, it was easy to do. Even before Jin left, there was definitely a strain on their relationship. They were growing apart even before his permanent departure. Kame had no idea what to pinpoint as the turning point—it could have been anything. They were already drifting a long time before Jin made his announcement. Before he knew it, they were over.

So when he answered Jin he said, “If you want an honest answer, I don’t know.”

“It’s funny, you know,” Jin started. “When we were kids, I don’t think I could have ever imagined that we’d be… where we are now. Both in our personal and professional lives.” Jin exhaled a long breath. “And the one thing back then, the one thing I was sure of, was that you’d always be a part of it. My life, I mean. And now… we’re practically strangers, and everyone thinks we hate each other. I don’t know if I can even believe you when you say that you _don’t_ hate me.”

Maybe Kame did hate Jin, and didn’t want to admit that to himself. He continued to listen.

“I’ve done a lot of things that you could hate me for, and I wouldn’t blame you, but I’ve also done a lot of things that I wished you could have _been_ there for.”

Kame would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the same way. There were probably a million events in his own life that he wished Jin could have been there for, too. On the flip side, there _were_ things that Jin did that Kame _should_ hate him for. He just wasn’t sure that he _could_ hate him for it.

“Say something, Kamenashi.”

There was a long pause before he decided to speak. “Did you wish I was there for your wedding?” It was an attempt to break the seriousness in the air. A small smile tugged at the corner of Kame’s lips.

Jin’s mouth seemed to have gone slack, and he stared at Kame like he had three heads or something.

“It was a joke, you idiot.”

And this time, Kame let the smile come through.

Jin seemed to take it in stride and he smiled back, but there was still a bit of nervous tension as he did. Even his laugh was strangely uncomfortable, and the shrug of his shoulders seemed like he was trying to shrug away the topic. “I take responsibility. Probably about time that I did, anyway.”

Kame tilted his head a peered at Jin. “Is there something…” He wanted to know, if there was something Jin was hiding. He didn’t want to press the issue, though. 

“There’s always a touch of truth in tabloids, but you know that already.” Jin took a deep breath. “Yeah, I got married because of the baby. And I… I need to be a father, I _want_ to be a father, and I love our baby girl more than words can say. I’ve been so happy in the last year, you have no idea. And I love Meisa… she and I make a good team, and it’s good for us… as a family. I just…” He didn’t finish the thought and instead scratched the back of his head.

Kame raised an eyebrow.

“Ah—this is going to sound so selfish.” Jin frowned. “I love her but I’m not _in love_ with her. It’s stupid. It’s cliché. Forget I ever mentioned it.”

Part of Kame wanted to punch Jin for being a stupid man, but there was tiny, itty bitty part of him that seemed to light up with hope. For what, he wasn’t quite sure of yet.

“I get it,” he said in response. Maybe he was a little worried, but he didn’t know which party he was worried for. “But does she… does she know about how you feel?”

Jin looked at Kame with a thoughtful look, almost like he was sizing him up, but not in a suspicious way. After a moment, Jin answered with, “We’ve got an arrangement—that’s the formal way of putting things. It’s a good arrangement, and we’re… we’re a loving family. We both love her, and the both of us get along well. We’re stable, and that’s all that matters. I’m _happy_.” He shrugged and looked away, back into the distance. The was a smile tugging at his lips, though.

“Oh.”

And Kame understood. Jin was in one of _those_ situations. It was for the good of the baby, for the good of the family, and (fortunately _and_ unfortunately) for the good of their public images. The picture of a happy, loving family was ultimately much better received by the public than a broken one. It also kept unsavory rumors from surfacing, and kept them out of the public eye just enough. Meisa was a smart woman; she knew the business. Jin was on the same level, and though he could be rather dense sometimes, he knew how to behave when he had to. This was one of those times.

“Anyway.” Jin cleared his throat, and that was the end of that conversation. “It’s fucking hot as hell up here,” he complained, resting the back of his head against the door. He immediately pulled the t-shirt he was wearing up and over his head.

“You got fat,” Kame said absently, turning his head forward in an attempt to hide a smile.

Jin’s head turned and almost gave Kame a horrified and hurt look, but then realized the small smile tugging on his lips. “Screw you, Kamenashi. It’s called baby weight. I’m working on it.”

“I’m not quite sure which one of you was pregnant.” Kame tried to suppress a giggle.

Jin’s arm shot out and pushed against Kame’s shoulder, shoving him playfully. He toppled away momentarily, but caught himself with his hand, laughing.

They were both laughing.

“It suits you, though. But if you ever plan on making a comeback…”

Jin’s laughter died down a bit, and there was an awkward pause. His hand ran nervously through his already tousled hair. “Actually, that’s what I was here for today… Well, maybe not exactly. Johnny called me in today, wanted to talk. About my future, or whatever. Don’t know if it was supposed to be good or bad, but… you know. Except when I got here, the air conditioner was out, so his secretary told me he had to reschedule all his meetings for the afternoon.”

“That’s… good, I think.” Actually, Kame had no idea. Johnny was always mysterious like that. Sometimes getting called to a meeting was good—like an offer for a role in a drama, or the announcement of a new project. Sometimes… well, sometimes. The old man was on edge with his talents that mattered. Getting called to a meeting with Johnny was always nerve-wracking. Even Kame felt it, like today, but he learned to keep his cool on the outside.

“For all I know he could have been ready to let me go. It’s been over a year, Kame.”

The thought had passed through Kame’s mind, but he didn’t want to mention it. It wasn’t something anyone should mention. As much as Kame hated to admit it, Jin was always a looming presence in his mind. Even though they haven’t been all that significant in each other lives in years didn’t mean that Kame didn’t think of Jin from time to time. He still mattered to Kame no matter how much dislike he felt toward him. 

It also dawned on him that Jin stopped calling him “Kamenashi,” and he wondered if it was just a slip of a tongue.

“Don’t think of it that way.”

“I’d prefer to not think of it at all.”

Another silence followed, but this time it was more comfortable. The tension between them was cut, and Kame couldn’t have been more grateful for it. He sighed and rested his head against the door. “It really is too hot up here.”

“Give me your drink.”

“Huh?”

“Give me your drink,” Jin repeated, holding out his hand. The he added, “Before it completely melts.”

Kame handed it over to him, the plastic cup dripping with condensation from the heat.

“Didn’t you know,” Jin started, popping the top off of the cup, “that this shit dehydrates you more?”

He then continued to pour out the cup’s contents.

“Jin but—”

“Here.” He held out the cup to Kame again. Now it was only filled with ice. “Now it’s more useful.”

When Kame didn’t move, and just continued to stare at Jin like he was mad, Jin stuck his hand in the cup and grabbed an ice cube. He proceeded to bring the ice cube to the back of his neck, where he pressed it there and shivered.

“See? Useful.”

Okay, so maybe he was right. He stuck his hand in the cup and plucked out an ice cube as well, pressing it to the front of his own neck, relishing in the coolness dripping down. It was a welcome relief from the heat, but it only lasted for a few seconds. The stifling heat had found its way back, and it felt hotter than before.

“It’s a temporary fix,” Kame told him. The heat had won out, and he pulled his own shirt over his head.

“It’s better than nothing,” Jin responded. “Besides, at least it’s not the middle of the afternoon. The sun’s going to set soon.”

Kame looked into the distance. Jin was right. The sky was starting to burn a deep orange color, signaling the soon-to-be end of the day. He glanced at his watch. It was later than he thought, but he was relieved. Darker skies meant cooler air—well, as cool as it could get. It was still the middle of the summer, and it didn’t seem like the heat was going to let up by much. The forecast for the following day didn’t bode any better than today.

Jin fished out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. After a moment, Kame did the same, enjoying the burn of nicotine filling his lungs.

“The old man called me in for a meeting today, too,” Kame admitted a minute later, eyes still glued to the sunset. He sighed and continued to talk before Jin could get a word in. “He wants me to get caught by the tabloids. Apparently, I’ve been too low-profile, according to him.”

Jin snorted and rolled his eyes, a long puff of smoke trailing out of his mouth. He leaned his head back against the door, looking into the sunset. “Wouldn’t it be convenient right now to have some paparazzi hanging around? I could see the headlines now, _’Akakame—Together Again?’_ or some shit like that. That would take care of your problem.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that Johnny would have a field day with the headlines,” Kame said and chuckled. It was a humorous thought. Of all the things that could happen… but there was no one to capture their current situation. It was ironic in a sense, but Kame wasn’t sure that he actually wanted someone to.

“It’d make the fangirls swoon,” Jin continued, a serene smile playing on his lips.

It was Kame’s turn to roll his eyes. He remembered all too well those days of fangirls swooning over their fanservice. It was legendary, and what helped gain them their name, after all. Those were fun times—playing it up to the camera during photoshoots, messing around on stage during lives. Memories of their younger years, when they were friends, never feeling ashamed, nervous, or watchful over their actions. It all just disappeared somehow.

Right now, he wanted those times back more than anything.

“Hey Jin.”

“Hey Kame.”

The sun was almost gone now, giving way to the night sky. The city lights were too bright to see any stars clearly as darkness began to blanket the rooftop. It somehow reminded Kame of the nights they used to spend sleeping over each other’s houses as kids, although they didn’t have the night sky above them, but Kame’s silly little projector. This was different, but still oddly the same, Kame mused as he finished his cigarette, crushing the butt next to him.

They were older now, and maybe a little wiser. At least, they should be.

Perhaps a leap of faith was all that Kame needed.

His hand moved slowly to find Jin’s, hesitantly placing his hand over his. Jin’s head turned to him, one of his eyebrows cocked up in question… but his hand didn’t move away.

Kame smiled at Jin.

Jin smiled back, flipping his hand over to take a hold of Kame’s. He turned his head back to gaze at the now darkened sky. After a moment, Kame did the same.

“Hisashiburi,” Jin said a little while later, giving Kame’s hand a light, barely noticeable squeeze.

“Hisashiburi,” Kame replied softly.


End file.
